Progress Post 7

 

    My current step count average for the month of January has really declined. I will make the excuse that I do have to take my watch off every afternoon to charge it for around an hour because I use it as an alarm clock the following day. The silent vibration wakes me up instead of having something loud that will wake up Taylor at the same time.

    I have been trying to make a conscious decision to walk extra each day. I don't always succeed in that though. Honestly, I think I need extra motivation on days when I am not feeling well. I compared this to my step count from the previous year in the month of January and I have improved around 100 steps per day on average which isn't really worth mentioning. I'm trying to have a positive mindset though.

    I am currently 225 pounds. So what is my goal? Realistically, my physician thinks that my goal weight should be 165 pounds. Goodness, that's some hopes and dreams beyond my reach at the moment. Let's take some small steps. I think my goal weight for the next six months should be to get down to 210 to 215 pounds and maintain that weight. Yo-yoing and weight drives me absolutely insane. I think for the long haul I need to be really hyper focusing on maintaining. Around five years ago I had gastric bypass surgery. The lowest weight I got with that was around 187 pounds. But my starting weight was absolutely ridiculous. At one point in my life I was 285 pounds. A week after having that surgery I had to deal with the horrific death of my father. Let's get real. I went into a deep depression after his death. Directly following his death, my mother had to have quadruple bypass and a hip replacement within a year. Dealing with her issues and her actually being in the ICU and almost dying, drove me into such depth of depression that I barely crawled out of that. 

    The fact that I let myself get back over 200 pounds really bothers me. It was an absolute fight to get under 200. I can do it again. There is no doubt in my mind. I can get healthier and be the parent I need to be to my toddler. She needs me. I don't talk about those few years of deep depression. A lot of people look down on negative mental health and see it as a hazard. I kind of see it as a building block. It helps you know when you are at your lowest in life. And depending on how you build from nothing will forever define who you are as a person.  Everyone goes through tragedies. We all have suffering, and no one escapes it. You have to find the positive in your life in order to get through the worst of your life.

    Showing accountability for my weight and exercise has made me hyper aware of where I'm at. Thank you for following my journey. Feel free to email me.