Life of the Party

      Oh, yeah I also forgot to mention that we have already begun to prep for the upcoming winter season. Gathering and hoarding hay, winterizing areas of need, and rehoming animals that didn't make the cute before our winter season begins.      Most of my nanny goats are currently expecting babies, so our winter kidding season could start anytime in the next few weeks. Their milk has dropped and their back bellies have lowered. I'm excited to see what our new billy brings to the herd. His mother was jet black and gorgeous, so he could throw any shade of color. I'm glad we decided to bring back more Kinko blood into our small herd. Dozer is parasite resistant and I have only had to treat him one time in the last 6 months. The farm we purchased him from as a young goat stated that they "do not treat for anything. If they die they die." He has doubled in size and would currently be larger than any goat they owned. He came from a herd of 85, so he his growth ...

      Goodness to gracious it has been some week for my husband. He is moving around a lot better, but the burning sensation is driving him insane alone with the constant bleeding from his rectum. I wouldn't suggest anyone have this surgery done.      Battling the pain alone has completely wiped out my husband. He cannot stand to walk any distance or ride in a car. Sitting straight up is out of the question and showering seems to be the only a relief he can get. I hate seeing him suffer. Picking up ALL of the slack has been a challenge for me. I'm usually doing 16 hour days once everything is said and done. I'm holding down the fort and working a full time job. I get home around 5:00 and start all of the outside chores followed by cooking supper and tending to Taylor.      Did I mention that my car broke down??? Yeah, on top of everything else, I have had to deal with missing a day from work because my car decided SHE didn't want to run. Bein...

    I have mixed feelings about this series. I secretly love the undying plot, but I value a book that I cannot predict. Young just hasn't mastered the second part, but I will finish this series out of pure curiosity. You can have a romance book without all the smut. I skip multiple pages every few chapters due to the fact that I don't really enjoy reading over that. It's almost like the soaps my Gran used to watch when I was a small child. If As the World Turns had a spin off this would be it.      All joking aside.. I would still rate this book a 3.5.   

      Well...     Here we are a few days out from surgery and I think my husband is absolutely dying. The sheer  amount of blood loss has me terrified to no end, but is he going to go to the ER... NO! Being stubborn must be built into his blood, because he cannot seem to take any type of direction.      Other news. Having to do all the chores solo is hard, tiring, and painful. I spent two hours digging a new water way for the little girl goat pen. I hope these next three weeks of healing pass by fast, because I don't know how I'm going to hold up at this rate. Housework or  formwork that is the question. 

      Man.... the last 24 hours has been an adventure I do not want to endure again. My poor husband had surgery this morning and he is in the worst pain I have ever seen him. He is such a strong individual and to see him broken down really makes me cringe. The bleeding and nausea alone has been more that we bargained for.      Along with pain he had the worst anesthesiologist possible that basically dismissed any questions that we had before surgery. His self centered answers were absolutely ridiculous. "I assure you... it won't be hard to wake him up." We sat in recovery for four hours in total, so don't come at me with that crap.      The added stress has been beyond what I had expected. I truly think men are the weaker species. I had a C-section and was up moving in the same day. Even after my gallbladder removal I was up doing light chores four hours post surgery. He hasn't moved since we got home. At this point, I think I should just lo...

      Well, it goes without saying that we battle our water source each and every year. The system that we have used for the last twenty years failed miserably Saturday morning. There was a cracked dry rotted hose along with our holding tank that was leaking as  well.      Did I see this coming? Ummmmm, to be honest, I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. We didn't see the issue until late Saturday night, so our entire Sunday was lost to trying to piece together a semi decent workable system. I'm beyond tired and I have blisters to show for it. I ran the new piping down the thicket, which is hard due to the fact that it has over grown in the last 20 or so years. I'm covered head to toe with dirt and grime.      Let's cross our fingers that the holding tank can fill overnight, so I can take a proper shower in the morning.   Farm life is slowly kidding my tail!

           I guess I'm just in my feels today. Wanna come join my pity party? I think you should go out and celebrate your birthday every year. It's a goal to age an additional year! Why not embrace it? Honestly, birthdays are super important to me.      Well... I came home to basically nothing. My husband did order me a cake, which was beyond thoughtful. I appreciate it more than he will ever truly know, but man.... I spent my afternoon basically by myself with my toddler. I asked mom if she wanted to go out to eat tonight for my birthday, so I could somewhat celebrate. She said, "No, just fix something for you and Taylor to eat at home." It's pretty depressing when your own mother doesn't even want to celebrate you. I wasn't petty or anything. I did however fix supper for us and enjoyed my cake.      I just felt uncelebrated at home...        Every year I go out of my way to make their days perfect wi...

 Well, I did listen to this book on Audible. I don't really have a strong opinion on its content. I would like to finish the series, but honestly, I've lost interest. It seems like the female leads are somewhat overly dramatic. I can just about bet a person who doesn't know anything about the South wrote this.      It started out as such a good series and to loose this much stamina in a matter of six chapters is a shame. Should I finish the series? Can this author redeem themselves or is it all over for this fairytale ghetto love story?      Rating.... 2.5 out of 5 stars.   

      Today, I realized that I cannot do it all. I have so much on my plate that it is tipping over and I'm ill and cranky all the time. Getting around four hours of sleep per night is slowly draining me. Mom told me Taylor didn't choose to come into this world, but honestly I didn't pick to do this basically alone either. I have no family unit to help with anything. Somedays... I wish I could disappear just for a moment to take a breather. Do other moms feel burned out too? Is this normal? I cannot even go to therapy because I have no one to watch her during my sessions. I haven't been since I battled PPD like my life depended on it.      Somedays... I just want more. More family, more friends, more connection beyond my four walls. All I have is my 30 minute reading sessions at night. It doesn't always do the trick. I'll be talking to my doctor about all of this next week, if I can get someone to watch Taylor. If not, she will be going with me. I'm not mis...