Life of the Party

      I think I should update you all on my current life... I'm working, but it's only to pay bills. Living paycheck to paycheck is tiring and I haven't even saved up for this year's land taxes. Just when I think I might break even something else comes along and wipes it all away.      Life is hard, but so is all choices that we make. I drive an older paid off vehicle that I'm slowly waiting for it to die. I have used the same iPhone for the last seven years and there isn't an upgrade in sight. Currently, I'm budgeting on the basics like food and necessities. My medicine has to come second if other things need the money first. It shouldn't be like that though. I work 40 plus hours a week and I'm barely treading water. 

      Our cultural book club through my school system started back up this month with the above book. This is the first book that was chosen for our club that I absolutely did not like. I think the author forgot her main plot midway through the book and ramble on into other areas. When Emerson did seem to follow her plot line, the book was amazing.  Positives: - I loved the grandmother character, because she reminded me so much of my own grandmother.  - Her carefree best friend was super amazing too - The whole idea that she could see dead people      Overall, I can say I was not impressed with the style of writing or the character development. I did like the insight into Navajo culture. I had never heard about photographs, stealing the souls of people. Something is just missing from the book. I cannot put my finger on it. The book club meet tomorrow night and has their discussion. I fear that my opinion of the book will not be respected, so I wil...

      This August has been one for the books, literally. I've been so busy that it has all been a blur and to say I'm going to miss it would be a bald faced lie. One down, eight to go. I can get through this year. Juggling home life, work, and farm life has run me ragged.      It's currently, 7:42 and I've still got around an hour's worth of work to complete for tomorrow. I'm giving it my best and can honestly say... around 92%. The other 8% is lost in thought and translated as moments to myself. The guilt of working full time and being is mom is real. The world wants you to act and work like you're single with not other obligations, but in reality you have a family. Working outside of hours is impossible for me. I try to carve out an hour here and there to just get through the day.      Without my audiobooks my drive to work would be filled with stress and anticipation for the day. I'm thankful enough that I was gifted a membership. Mom knew...

          Warning... this may end up as a rant post. I'm exhausted and most of the time I just want silence and a good book to sooth the hectic workweek out of my memory. The constant input from surrounding family concerning my child is tiring as well. Lord, just give me a break and keep your comments to yourself. Yes, I know I look tired as heck, but bringing it up constantly is also tiring.      Let me rest on my days off. I wish to goodness my husband would understand this as well. Give me a solid 45 minutes of uninterrupted silence on Saturday and I'd be a happy camper. I cannot even go to the restroom without someone barging in. I'm snappy because I cannot sleep. No one else gets up with our toddler throughout the night. I love her, but man I wish she would just sleep. On average I get 4 to 4.5 hours per night and it just isn't enough while working full time.      The burn out is currently real and alive. I tried to sit down tw...

           Sometimes I wish I could roll back time and make different decisions. Redoing everything that led me up to this point in life. There are somedays that I just need a reset button. Today was strange and honestly I wish I could go back four years and change.      Change the decision I helped my husband support. Change how I saw the world in that very miserable moment in life. To simply think beyond myself and think about unintended intentions. Sometimes, I think about not marrying my husband and what life would have been like. I would never change having Taylor, but I do wish he still had his own son in his life. I see it in his eyes when someone asks about him and he simply has nothing to comment on.      My husband deserves better and maybe if I wasn't in the picture he would get to see his other kid. Maybe it was me all along? Sometimes, I wish I could see what the alternate future would have been like if I would hav...

 Uh... Sigh...     It's been a Monday all around. My husband is currently sick and cannot really help with any of the chores, so everything has to fall on me to pick up the slack. My afternoon was busy to say the least. Feeding and watering takes time. I was able to finish all my rings on my Apple Watch though, so that's a positive in itself.      I didn't have a planning period this morning, so I winged most of my lessons today. I'm so glad we prepped lesson plans all last school year, because it comes in handy when  you're in a time crunch. I lost my keys several times today as well. Guess where they were? Around my neck. I didn't get much sleep because Josh was up and down all night. Each time he left the bed I awoke.  I'm running on fumes at the moment. Wish me good luck tomorrow as we do this all again. 

    And what have I been reading in my spare time? Sarah J. Maas's Court of ... series. I just finished the last that has been currently published and let me tell you it has been a wild ride since Mother's Day. My husband bought me the entire series and I have slowly been reading a few chapters each day. I need this escape from my busy life and Maas has provided that and more.      The fact  that this last book is written somewhat in Nesta's perspective has been even better. I think every woman wants a mating bond like the one she has with Cassian. I'm thankful for this author and cannot wait unit October! Bring on the next book! 5 out of 5 stars.   

            It was so weird not going to work on a Friday. I'm glad I was able to go to my appointment though, and I was somewhat thankful to have a break.  Stats: Weight: 221.5 A1C: 6.5      He seemed over all pleased with me today. I was however beyond exhausted and disappointed that I didn't have a lower A1C. My goal next time is to have a 6.4 or lower. I can do this! 

      Well, as always the first few weeks are an adjustment  period. This year is no exception to that rule, but this teacher is tired and can barely hold her eyes open. This week... -Planned and implemented lessons each day -Called 14 parents -Checked/ answered 102 emails -Hand wrote notes for parents (4) -Gave my first silent lunch -Got 6 gifts from previous students -Had 19 previous students stop in to say hi -Learned 128 names (yes I know all my students first names now) -Picked up an extra Cherokee word  -Graded 205 papers (did not enter them in the computer yet) -Walked on average 11,230 steps per day -Average sleep 4.8 hours (according to my smart watch) -Wore blisters on my foot again -Wormed 22 goats solo -Shot at one coyote  -Killed one snake -Harvested cantaloupe