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Lessons

 I am a list person. My whole life revolves around various lists that keep me organized and focused throughout the day. The following are lessons that I have recently learned:  1. Not everyone is your friend. #hatersclub.   Yeah, I said what I said. Some people are never going to see past the flaws they have created for you. It should be more like #Girlgrowup.  Let stuff from five years ago stay in the past, worry about yourself... I'm trying to survive over here and you should do the same. 2. Stay in your own lane. If they do not ask, don't take time to explain.  3. Even snakes have kind eyes. That fake mask is see through and we all know it. This is not targeted at anyone specific.  4. Do your job. Go to work, complete work tasks, and then clock out and go home. Work is not your life. What is at home outweighs anything at work. Family should and will always come first.  5. Look over dumb people's comments. Just move on and don't feel the need to add ...
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Toddlers Chaos

      My toddler is still not potty trained. Don't come at me with your advice. I have tried just about everything, and nothing has worked thus far. My child is feral I guess. Today, at the playground she pulled down her diaper and peed in the grass. I was so embarrassed that I tripped over my own feet.      The meltdowns are real at this age and  so are the tantrums. What do you mean... you can't eat cake right before bed time? That was our latest incident where my child pitched a fit for over an hour. What else do I do? Her new pediatrician stated that he is not going to rule out  autism, but at this time we are not going to label her. I don't know if I want a label, but man some pointers would be nice.      Working with some peers that don't have children absolutely drives me bananas. We don't get to go home and "turn off" the teacher mode. If anything we switch it on to the "mom" role and keep going. You got perfect attendance? ...
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Heart To Heart

      Let's be blunt and honest all at the same time. Feelings hurt? Now is not the time to dwell with those endless thoughts about anxiety of social situations.      I'm currently battling life. Everyone has their own fights and things to worry about, but currently it seems relentless for us. My husband is waiting on his oncology report from his rather long stay in the hospital. That alone has me on pins and needles. Now, I just found out my child has lost most of her hearing in both ears. She has OT, ENT, and speech therapy appointments in her near future. I don't know if I can handle much more on my plate.      I caught a KID messing around with our animals last night. So now that is yet another issue we are having. I cannot even go to sleep  without some sort of stressing smacking me in the face.  The stress list:  1. Will work eventually become angry for me missing all these days? 2. My husband's oncology report (He alread...
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Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros

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Well, didn't this book just wonder into my life at just the right moment. It is a lengthy read, but so worth your time. I hate when an author leaves their audience on a cliff hanger, but we all know there is a new book being written. I'm just smitten with this whole series. This is just what I need to escape my hectic day to day stress. I get lost in the world of dragons and love.      Violet is still one of my all time favorite characters, but sometimes I wish she would think with her head and not her heart. Will Xadin ever change? I don't know the answer and I'm sure Yarros will tell is more as the next book gets here. I will buy the novella that gets released here in a few days. I do long to read about Liam and explore this world further. Will she bring dead characters back to life?      -Can I have my own wing leader? Just asking for a friend... Read the book if you do not get my reference.      5 out of 5 stars is my rating and I do...
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Checking In

      Oh, yes things can change in an instant here at the farm. One minute I'm just worried about work and the next... I'm single parenting for the remainder of the week. Can I juggle it all or will it topple over any minute?      My husband is currently in the hospital yet  again... here I am having to manage it all again as per the usual. He cannot help the circumstances he has been handed. I understand that, but man the timing is way off and it's already hectic here. Without the aid of my mother I wouldn't make it most days. I'm unsure how to navigate this week. Currently, I'm waiting on a call to see when he will go into surgery. 2.5 hours away and I can't do anything to help. I cannot go to him either because of our  comments here.  Stress List 1. Work (lack of planning) 2. Childcare this week 3. After school meetings that I will probably have to miss 4. Friendly "reminder" emails that are annoying me to death.  5. All farm chores w...
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Life of the Party

      I always have a secret laugh every time I read over the title of my blog. The party has been out of my life for a very long time. Motherhood and late thirties have taken their pound of flesh. These days my life consists of surviving.      Who can really get ahead in our current economy? I know that I work well over 40 hours per week and we barely break even. My husband works 40 hours and takes on extra just to be able to have breathing room. It shouldn't be like this.      The life of my party is my sassy outspoken three  year old who couldn't be quiet if her life depended upon it. The late nights and early morning snuggles is as close to a party as I can get. ABCs in the car and marshmallow fights fill my afternoons with nonstop noise. It all goes by so fast.  For those of you who still like to party.... Grow up, get a job, and do something with your life. 
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The Unwilling by John Hart

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    Well, honestly this is one of the best books I've had the pleasure of reading in a while. It had everything from a coming of age, war, love, loss, and family strains combined to make one heck of book. It took me a little over a month to read it, but it was well worth my time. The main character Jason French was phenomenal and the loyalty of brotherhood knows no bounds.      This was my first Hart book and I hope to read more by this author. I usually loath books about war vets because they usually romanize them. This book truly captured the heartlessness of what our men and  women to have to go through. I would love to just read a book about X and his life. Hopefully, that is what Hart's other books are about.      With no doubt.... this is a 5 out of 5 star book! I highly recommend that you take the time and check this book out. 
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Life

      I think I should update you all on my current life... I'm working, but it's only to pay bills. Living paycheck to paycheck is tiring and I haven't even saved up for this year's land taxes. Just when I think I might break even something else comes along and wipes it all away.      Life is hard, but so is all choices that we make. I drive an older paid off vehicle that I'm slowly waiting for it to die. I have used the same iPhone for the last seven years and there isn't an upgrade in sight. Currently, I'm budgeting on the basics like food and necessities. My medicine has to come second if other things need the money first. It shouldn't be like that though. I work 40 plus hours a week and I'm barely treading water. 
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Shutter by Romana Emerson

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      Our cultural book club through my school system started back up this month with the above book. This is the first book that was chosen for our club that I absolutely did not like. I think the author forgot her main plot midway through the book and ramble on into other areas. When Emerson did seem to follow her plot line, the book was amazing.  Positives: - I loved the grandmother character, because she reminded me so much of my own grandmother.  - Her carefree best friend was super amazing too - The whole idea that she could see dead people      Overall, I can say I was not impressed with the style of writing or the character development. I did like the insight into Navajo culture. I had never heard about photographs, stealing the souls of people. Something is just missing from the book. I cannot put my finger on it. The book club meet tomorrow night and has their discussion. I fear that my opinion of the book will not be respected, so I wil...
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August...

      This August has been one for the books, literally. I've been so busy that it has all been a blur and to say I'm going to miss it would be a bald faced lie. One down, eight to go. I can get through this year. Juggling home life, work, and farm life has run me ragged.      It's currently, 7:42 and I've still got around an hour's worth of work to complete for tomorrow. I'm giving it my best and can honestly say... around 92%. The other 8% is lost in thought and translated as moments to myself. The guilt of working full time and being is mom is real. The world wants you to act and work like you're single with not other obligations, but in reality you have a family. Working outside of hours is impossible for me. I try to carve out an hour here and there to just get through the day.      Without my audiobooks my drive to work would be filled with stress and anticipation for the day. I'm thankful enough that I was gifted a membership. Mom knew...
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