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August...

      This August has been one for the books, literally. I've been so busy that it has all been a blur and to say I'm going to miss it would be a bald faced lie. One down, eight to go. I can get through this year. Juggling home life, work, and farm life has run me ragged.      It's currently, 7:42 and I've still got around an hour's worth of work to complete for tomorrow. I'm giving it my best and can honestly say... around 92%. The other 8% is lost in thought and translated as moments to myself. The guilt of working full time and being is mom is real. The world wants you to act and work like you're single with not other obligations, but in reality you have a family. Working outside of hours is impossible for me. I try to carve out an hour here and there to just get through the day.      Without my audiobooks my drive to work would be filled with stress and anticipation for the day. I'm thankful enough that I was gifted a membership. Mom knew...
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Thoughts

          Warning... this may end up as a rant post. I'm exhausted and most of the time I just want silence and a good book to sooth the hectic workweek out of my memory. The constant input from surrounding family concerning my child is tiring as well. Lord, just give me a break and keep your comments to yourself. Yes, I know I look tired as heck, but bringing it up constantly is also tiring.      Let me rest on my days off. I wish to goodness my husband would understand this as well. Give me a solid 45 minutes of uninterrupted silence on Saturday and I'd be a happy camper. I cannot even go to the restroom without someone barging in. I'm snappy because I cannot sleep. No one else gets up with our toddler throughout the night. I love her, but man I wish she would just sleep. On average I get 4 to 4.5 hours per night and it just isn't enough while working full time.      The burn out is currently real and alive. I tried to sit down tw...
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Sometimes

           Sometimes I wish I could roll back time and make different decisions. Redoing everything that led me up to this point in life. There are somedays that I just need a reset button. Today was strange and honestly I wish I could go back four years and change.      Change the decision I helped my husband support. Change how I saw the world in that very miserable moment in life. To simply think beyond myself and think about unintended intentions. Sometimes, I think about not marrying my husband and what life would have been like. I would never change having Taylor, but I do wish he still had his own son in his life. I see it in his eyes when someone asks about him and he simply has nothing to comment on.      My husband deserves better and maybe if I wasn't in the picture he would get to see his other kid. Maybe it was me all along? Sometimes, I wish I could see what the alternate future would have been like if I would hav...
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Monday.....

 Uh... Sigh...     It's been a Monday all around. My husband is currently sick and cannot really help with any of the chores, so everything has to fall on me to pick up the slack. My afternoon was busy to say the least. Feeding and watering takes time. I was able to finish all my rings on my Apple Watch though, so that's a positive in itself.      I didn't have a planning period this morning, so I winged most of my lessons today. I'm so glad we prepped lesson plans all last school year, because it comes in handy when  you're in a time crunch. I lost my keys several times today as well. Guess where they were? Around my neck. I didn't get much sleep because Josh was up and down all night. Each time he left the bed I awoke.  I'm running on fumes at the moment. Wish me good luck tomorrow as we do this all again. 
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A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

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    And what have I been reading in my spare time? Sarah J. Maas's Court of ... series. I just finished the last that has been currently published and let me tell you it has been a wild ride since Mother's Day. My husband bought me the entire series and I have slowly been reading a few chapters each day. I need this escape from my busy life and Maas has provided that and more.      The fact  that this last book is written somewhat in Nesta's perspective has been even better. I think every woman wants a mating bond like the one she has with Cassian. I'm thankful for this author and cannot wait unit October! Bring on the next book! 5 out of 5 stars.   
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Endocrinology

            It was so weird not going to work on a Friday. I'm glad I was able to go to my appointment though, and I was somewhat thankful to have a break.  Stats: Weight: 221.5 A1C: 6.5      He seemed over all pleased with me today. I was however beyond exhausted and disappointed that I didn't have a lower A1C. My goal next time is to have a 6.4 or lower. I can do this! 
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Week 2

      Well, as always the first few weeks are an adjustment  period. This year is no exception to that rule, but this teacher is tired and can barely hold her eyes open. This week... -Planned and implemented lessons each day -Called 14 parents -Checked/ answered 102 emails -Hand wrote notes for parents (4) -Gave my first silent lunch -Got 6 gifts from previous students -Had 19 previous students stop in to say hi -Learned 128 names (yes I know all my students first names now) -Picked up an extra Cherokee word  -Graded 205 papers (did not enter them in the computer yet) -Walked on average 11,230 steps per day -Average sleep 4.8 hours (according to my smart watch) -Wore blisters on my foot again -Wormed 22 goats solo -Shot at one coyote  -Killed one snake -Harvested cantaloupe 
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Song of the Northwoods by Jessica Huang

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      This book had so much potential to be fantastic, but the rambling of the narrator completely ruined my whole experience with it. My very long drive to work really does give me time to think and listen to a few books along the way. I was not impressed with pacing of this novel. I also needed some additional character development in order to connect with the story. Why have someone read an Asian character that has a Southern accent? Weird?      The beginning of this book was amazing and I was totally into it, but then the main character's energy was abruptly absurd and nothing was really revealed to show any insight to why the plot existed in the first place. I only finished the book after the author decided it was important for the audience to actually see some of the "reasons" as to why she was in her friend's cabin to take a break. This short story missed the mark of excellence.      I would rate this book a 2.5 out of 5 stars. I would...
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The Tutor by Rosie Day

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     Well, this book was very odd. I’m not so sure if I liked the book or not due to the fact that I felt like a lot of the narration seemed as if it was battling. Did she get her ultimate revenge and humiliate her attacker? The man who abused her as a child ends up, dying at the end of the book by the hands of his wife. This said wife actually admit to knowing what her husband had done the whole time. To me that makes her just as guilty, even though she killed him in the end.        I feel like this is an overused plot outline, and it was just poorly planned.  But it may have just been the narration that done it for me. I might have had a different opinion that I read the book myself and instead of listening to it on my way to and from work. I would give this book a five out of five star rating. I would not recommend that you waste your time listening to it unless you’re really just into revenge that ends in death.  I think he needed to suff...
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Week 1

      One week down.... I forgot how many more to go. Honestly, I'm dead tired and cannot moved. My feet are sore and swelled to pop. My poor bladder has to retrain itself to go during class changes, and I did not make progress on that this week. Are next week's plans in place? No, and I don' t think they will be until Sunday night.      The first week back with students is always an adjustment. I have fully grasped about 82 names out of the 125 or more that circulate through my room. I kept up with all the stats.  -Past students who visited (91) -Daily average step count 10,312 steps -Daily stand: 16 hours  -Emails  answered: 210 -School texts answered 314 -Phone calls home 2 -Student check ins (4)     My forever goal is to always have every student's name memorized by the end of week two. I have yet to fail at meeting this. Wish me luck!
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