Life of the Party

      I'm still here trudging through this mess. Stress is eating away at me and I'm so lost at the moment that I cannot seem to get anything right. I got to dreaded call today... we in fact do not qualify for any assistance for Taylor. Speechless, breathless, hopelessness has taken over.      My husband said, "God will provide." I wasn't raised in a religious setting, but I did attend church with my grandma. I hope Josh is right. 

      Have you ever made a decision or quickly signed a paper in haste only to realize years later that honestly you were an idiot? Let me back the story up a bit. I took Taylor to her an annual visit to her pediatrician only to discover that her medical insurance had been canceled. I spent several hours on the phone, emailed multiple people, and finally discovered today what had happened.     I'm so thankful that we have office staff who answer emails promptly. Back in 2024 we had an open enrollment day. I remember the day clearly because the only time slot I could go down was half of my planning. Because of how late open enrollment day started and my planning period coincided with that time. I was in a rush. Taylor was 18 months old so I was still only getting around 3 to 4 hours of sleep or not and working 40+ hours a week. Being exhausted was an understatement. I didn't even get to talk to the representative because I was trying to rush through before my stu...

      Sometimes, I really hate living on a farm. Farm life isn't always like the movies portray it to be and with new birth comes death. Today was  terrible and heart breaking at the same time. Things happen and lessons were and are learned.      I pleaded with my husband multiple times not to introduce my new goat to the herd. I bought her at the sale and have been working with her for over a month to gain weight and trust. Her previous owners must have had her hobbled. I had to help where the ropes had shredded her legs right where the hoofs were. Who does that? Her previous owners were absolutely ridiculous. I would never do an animal like that.  She was so thin when she first came to the house. She was mellow and sweet. I spent weeks gaining her trust only to burry her early this morning. My heart is broken. She would finally come when I called. My other goats out weigh her by 50lbs or more. I think they rough housed her too much.   ...

      Time sure does fly when you have a toddler. It seems like yesterday I was swaddling my small NICU baby and praying that she gains weight. Tomorrow, my baby turns the big 3 and I don't know how to feel about it. I've cried several times tonight already. She had such a rough start to life that I just don't think I'll ever get over it. PPD about took me out while also dealing with the death of Taylor's twin.      Stats: NICU 8 days      6 days of life support      Birth Weight: 6.5lbs     Length: 22in      I gave birth to twins and her sister didn't make it.      She had a head of blackish/brown hair and dark brown eyes. They transitioned to a light blue and bright blonde hair with in the first eight months of her life. We've battled two cancer scares, scans, treatment, seizures, and sleepless nights. She hasn't slept through the night EVER! She had stitches before she could even walk ...

    This week has held so many issues that I cannot possibly think straight. Starting a week with a massive field trip was not a good idea. I got over 15 thousand steps in that day alone. We worked a 12.45 hour day followed by an 1.5 hour drive home. I'm exhausted.      We also have up and coming EOGs as well. I think sometimes I just take on more than I can actually do in a single day. With all the chores at home, I don't think I can keep treading water... drowning in tasks is taking over my mental health. I cannot be in all these places at once.        Why am I up? I'm so stressed out that I cannot sleep and I'm done fighting it. At least this way I'm not sitting there in the dark.      Two more weeks...

      The last month of work before summer break is always hectic. I just have summer vibes coming my way and I am beyond excited to plant my garden. I already have beans, squash, and corn coming up. I am roughly 11 days away from the official start of summer break.  If you have teacher friends reach out to them and saying good vibes their way. That last month is always tough. 

      Well... It's a lengthly read, but well worth your time. Honestly, I thought her teen daughter, Preeya was the one behind most of the mishaps at home, but boy I was wrong! It will get you fully entertained and the imagery used is just enough to keep you going.      Would I read it again? I like to be fully transparent and not lie. I probably would not pick this book up a second time if it was my choice. It is a read and done kind of book. Although I did enjoy it, it could've been so much more. I actually watched the Hallmark movie that was similar to this plot and a lot of it I was able to predict what was happening next. I was wrong about her daughter though.      I would still get this book a rating of 4.1 out of 5 stars. Anderson sure does know how to keep you hooked into the book. If it wasn't a Hallmark movie, I think it might've been a Lifetime movie. It just seems so surreal that I had already seen a movie with the same storyline ...

      Oh, it has been a Monday. Truly, I've had a disastrous day, and nothing has went right. I locked myself out of the building at work three separate times. I lost my keys to may car to leave work this afternoon. When I arrived home... three of my goats were out running around having the time of their lives.      I'm one tired MAMA too. I had promised to bake homemade cookies and my toddler didn't forget that promise. Farm chores  plus cooking cookies and supper has about kicked my butt for the day.  Can I have a redo? I think I could have managed my time better if I knew what was inshore for me.      All joking aside. I hate Mondays, especially when I feel rushed to get things finished. 

      Girl, we don't have mean girl energy as adults. That's high school drama that needs to stay in the past. Unfortunately, this doesn't apply to every adult woman that I have to deal with on a daily basis.   Snarky comments don't really get you far with me. Carful... your inner demons are showing!     "Take the high road" is something my mom has always said. I try to live by that. I'm in no way perfect and make mistakes everyday. Have your social cliques, but remember karma is always around the corner. I took a deep breath as I sat in my car to leave only to realize I handled that situation with as much grace as I could. Maybe I'll do better in the near future. There is always room for improvement.