Life

     Sometimes life gets in the way of making things easy. The struggle is real! I battle the loss of my child everyday. Even in the small things I see her, especially when her sister is achieving milestones. I cannot get past what it would be like to have both twins alive and well today! I wonder if they would have acted the same? I wonder if Tessa would have had the blonde hair and blue eyes like Taylor. They were fraternal so there should have been differences. 

    I don't really try to dwell in the very traumatic experience of birth. I do however want to know what it would be like to have both my twins home, safe, and growing. I my thoughts go out to every woman whose child was born asleep like Tessa. I think postpartum depression took over my life for nearly a year because I blamed myself. Today, like all other days I'm sitting here wondering how things would be so different? 

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