Fail Successfully

     Let's have some real talk! If you were going to fail, you need to fail successfully in life. You need to fail so flawlessly that when you remember years from now, this traumatic event that you will have absolutely no regrets. Today I'm gonna talk to you about failing successfully at being beholding to society's expectation of motherhood.

    My child comes first no matter what. I will fail to be a good friend if it means my child comes first. And I mean first before my job, my husband, and even my own well-being. I will push everything aside as long as my child is safe. It is my responsibility to make sure she has the best childhood possible. And I have at times failed successfully at being a friend. I used to go out and have fun and go on girl nights but once I became a mother, my child came first. I will not apologize that failing to be a good friend, because my child is all that matters to me. In no way does this mean that I cannot have friends. It means that priorities come first.

    Recently, I have had so much pressure from the outside world of what motherhood should or is supposed to be. Yes, I have a job and it is important. Yes I have friendships that have evolved into extended family. I know that these things are both significant aspects of my life, and I need them in order to keep my sanity at times. Honestly, I am going to fail at being anything and everything but a mom so bad that when she looks back on her childhood, she knows I am there in full support of her. This is coming from personal experience so be prepared. I never have parents that showed up for things because their jobs are always more important even on parent days, parent lunches, no one showed up for me. It was always terrible having Christmas lunch or Thanksgiving lunch at school and being one of the few kids that had no family show up. It sucked. Parents could come in and watch our plays, musicals, and overall performances, but I had no one there.

    I vowed at a very young age that my kids would never have to experience a parentless, parent event. My daughter will not have to scan the crown in disappointment to realize she is there by herself. I had teachers that would pick me up and drop me off at the house so I could at least attend things beyond school hours. I will be the parent there supporting my daughter. She will never have to worry about finding a ride home after field trips because I will be there to pick her up. If she wants me to go, I will find a way to be there. And me and my friends have talked about this at length so they understand that I have strong opinions when it comes to putting your kids first. And I'm so glad and very blessed to have two best friends who hold their children in the same regard.

 I don't think my husband understands where I'm coming from either. He was a student athlete who must have had full support of his family. I don't know what that's like. I had whole award ceremonies were the only one who was there to support me was my fellow peers and their families. So don't come at me with a hierarchy of what is more important. My child is and will be number one. So as I failed successfully at being a friend, spouse, and worker my child will see me as a successful parent being there for her.