Finding Home
Home is where the heart is.
How many times have you heard that? Home to me is where ever I feel safe. My heart isn't where I grew up. My heart is in a field where all my childhood memories took place. Our field below our house is where I grew up, learned about life, discovered who I am, and banished myself from my parents.
Sometimes, I believe I need to find this since of home. Growing up in the same community as my ancestress did has really made me think that there is no chance for change. No one moves or ventures out. Everything is the same. Even my mom says that, "no one leaves here once they get here." People marry and move to trailer parks to live out their lives and never experience what it's like to live.
I often think of how identification of home would help me find who I was. Today, after work, I walked down to the field to enjoy some peace and quiet. My thoughts drifted back to a time where all I worried about was getting sunburned and eating pop corn. Back to where the field was a giant play house and four wheeler mud sling. Now out field is filled with deteriorating junk, a falling barn, and briars. It's hard to image that this place was once beautiful surrounded by: wild flowers, flowing grass, and most of all children's laughter.
Home is where all expectations are made and kept. I never had the chance to fail because my loving mother made sure I was prepared for life. Maybe she is "home." Mom has always been there for me, even when dad was not supportive. Mom and I are like best friends. She is the person who I tell everything to.
Home could be Daisy my best friend. Who knew a dog could keep so many secrets? She grew up with me in that field. I had a plethora of friends that came and went, but she was there through it all.
I found "home" in a grave yard in town beside my best friend's grave. She was so brave to have lasted as long as she did. I have idealized her perfect soul. Ashely was the one person who could put me in my place. Before she was doomed, she lived live like everyone else, but once she found out about her heart, it changed her. She had a heart of gold that extended to anyone she met. "Don't quit living because something bad is happening." She believed that each and every moment was a chance to live, breath, and change. We graduated in 2009 and I have honored her memory every year by celebrating her birthday by her grave. She helped make me who I am today. I have found my since of "home" and it's with her, here. An angle on earth that didn't get to stay long.
How many times have you heard that? Home to me is where ever I feel safe. My heart isn't where I grew up. My heart is in a field where all my childhood memories took place. Our field below our house is where I grew up, learned about life, discovered who I am, and banished myself from my parents.
Sometimes, I believe I need to find this since of home. Growing up in the same community as my ancestress did has really made me think that there is no chance for change. No one moves or ventures out. Everything is the same. Even my mom says that, "no one leaves here once they get here." People marry and move to trailer parks to live out their lives and never experience what it's like to live.
I often think of how identification of home would help me find who I was. Today, after work, I walked down to the field to enjoy some peace and quiet. My thoughts drifted back to a time where all I worried about was getting sunburned and eating pop corn. Back to where the field was a giant play house and four wheeler mud sling. Now out field is filled with deteriorating junk, a falling barn, and briars. It's hard to image that this place was once beautiful surrounded by: wild flowers, flowing grass, and most of all children's laughter.
Home is where all expectations are made and kept. I never had the chance to fail because my loving mother made sure I was prepared for life. Maybe she is "home." Mom has always been there for me, even when dad was not supportive. Mom and I are like best friends. She is the person who I tell everything to.
Home could be Daisy my best friend. Who knew a dog could keep so many secrets? She grew up with me in that field. I had a plethora of friends that came and went, but she was there through it all.
I found "home" in a grave yard in town beside my best friend's grave. She was so brave to have lasted as long as she did. I have idealized her perfect soul. Ashely was the one person who could put me in my place. Before she was doomed, she lived live like everyone else, but once she found out about her heart, it changed her. She had a heart of gold that extended to anyone she met. "Don't quit living because something bad is happening." She believed that each and every moment was a chance to live, breath, and change. We graduated in 2009 and I have honored her memory every year by celebrating her birthday by her grave. She helped make me who I am today. I have found my since of "home" and it's with her, here. An angle on earth that didn't get to stay long.
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