October

     I have some news, well, you might not exactly be excited about it, but I sure am! This is my birthday month and I think birthdays are important and we should celebrate them all! I entering my late thirties, so this birthday is extra special. 

    This month will bring about a new beginning for myself along with my daily life. I'm dedicating myself to improving my overall health. My A1C is a 6.2 which isn't bad, but I'm going to start to work on my weight. I need to be able to move and keep up with my child. I was out of energy after I took Taylor to the playground the other day and I was totally devastated that I couldn't do everything that I wanted. I need this change! 

    I will also be getting a tattoo for my child that didn't make it. I think Tessa's death has really played a major role in my mental health. It's been two years and I need some closure and in the past I have done this with "tattoo therapy," which isn't a real thing. My path to better health needs to start with my mental health. The tattoo might be a way to help me cope with her death. I still break down every time I think about how I should have brought home both of my twins. Taylor is such a blessing, but I still think about what life would be like with both babies.  If there is a heaven, I hope she's there and waiting for me.  

    

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