Frustrations

     Today has been something for the books. I'm overly tired and beyond thoughts of positive vibes. I'm exhausted from lack of sleep and constant worry. I have so many things going on at once that I cannot seem to get my act together. 

    I'm worried about medical bills again and saving money for Taylor's birthday. The woos of living on a farm are not helping anything either. I'm in constant battle with my neighbors over driveway rights. Apparently, they want me to move my fence, but that isn't happening. I have not blocked their right of way. You can still drive through there. Along with that I have mom's constant complaining and negativity. She is slowly losing her marbles. I don't know how to tread this path. Navigating that alone has caused me so many sleepless nights.

    School is stressing me out as well. We have so many components going on at one time. I spend around 5 or more hours a week working on additional tasks for school. Dealing with the stress of working with other adults in the same boat has took its toll on me too. I feel the pull between parenthood and my career. I feel like I'm missing out on everything when I'm at work. I'm not present enough. 

    My car is messing up and I do not have the resources for a new one at the moment. I have high hopes that I can get some other things paid off soon and purchase a different vehicle. Without a car I might as well resign. I can get through this. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lists Continued

 I will share some of my old lists. Not all content is sharable.   #14. Leave all unfinished business in the past.      I wish I could tell you guys what this was referencing, but I cannot remember. This list was made so many years ago. I wanted to do "this" before I turned 30. I can just about bet it had something to do with an old flame or some transgression I had with a peer. In my younger years I was so full of life bursting with opinionated attitude. Not caring what others thought about me was freeing in many ways. It was my way or the high. I was not well liked and often struggled with friendships. The younger me was so self confident and self assured. I knew what I wanted and went for it. She could have conquered the world. I was voted by my peers my high school year as being the most outspoken. I would say my peace and move on.      I admire the younger me. She was inspiring and willing to push through what ever wall got in her way. I gues...
Read more

Lists 2.0

 #40. Fly in a plane.  Check A+.       I did end up flying in a plane. The year I turned 30 was one of the best year's of my life so far. My best friend/ sister convinced me to go to the infamous Vegas. The four hour flight was breathtaking and I will forever remember the feeling of lifting off. I do not ever really want to fly again. We hit some MAJOR turbulence on the way home and I was frightened to the point I had a panic attack.      We enjoyed seven days of shows,  shopping, and exploring. We averaged over 15,000 steps a day and slept well at night. That was what life was like before children. My sister and I could take off with a moment's notice and go where ever. We took off to NYC to watch the ball drop one year. As it turns out it isn't an actual ball at all.  #45. Save a life.      Well, this one is really out there. Let me think...   I have saved a life but not like a you are thinking though. I go and...
Read more

Water Blisters?

Image
      Working on the water during freezing temperatures has its battle scares. My gloves had grown stiff due to the water temperature and I carelessly removed them. My hand carries the results of that dumb choice. This is the first time I have never had this happen. I'm a little concerned as it seems to be spreading. I'll check in at Urgent Care this afternoon.  
Read more