Long Weekends

     Where do you see yourself on a random winter weekend? Ahhhh, I see you don't really have an answer, so let me tell you about my weekend. My weekend was filled with endless chores, yearly, chores, and toddler tantrums.

    It's that time of year again, folks! Your taxes have to be done. As always, I dread this time of year. We were lucky enough not to have to pay in this year, which is a massive positive. So many of our friends and family are getting eight to $10,000 back, but we are just happy that we broke even. I have dreaded this weekend for the past four weeks. Every year, there's a new surprise that seems to just randomly pop up during tax season. My toddler pitched such a fit in the office we almost got kicked out.

    This weekend was also filled with hoof trimming. It is always my job to hold the goat as my husband is leveling off their hoofs. As it turns out, my biggest goat, Fancy, now out weighs me significantly. She tossed and threw me around like a ragdoll. I am so sore from having to hold goats as my husband desperately tried to make their houses look decent again. Along with hoof trimming or habitual chores... I need rest! Have you ever ran from a goose? I have. My goose has become broody on her clutch of eggs and she charges that anyone who comes near. Oh, and I'm afraid of her too because she don't only simply pinch, but she grabs pinch turns and tears. 

    I done nothing right all weekend for my husband. Anytime I try to do anything nice I felt like an utter failure. I hope everyone has these moments in marriage where things don't go perfectly. It seems that I never do anything right. It is futile for me to even try to assist him in anyway. I can do it exactly as he is instructing and it is still wrong. I was so frustrated that I just stood and cried. It was a moment of weakness that I showed that he truly got to me.  I'm almost at my breaking point. I really don't know what else to do. The simple job of holding a goat became a massive argument. Apparently, I'm not allowed to talk to the go as he is trimming because it causes the goat to move or so he mistakenly believes. It seems as if I'm always the scapegoat when things go wrong. I'm so dissatisfied with my current life decisions. If I could just be happy with myself, maybe I could make others happy too.

    We are still in active potty training with our toddler. Although she has made tremendous progress, she is still not successfully potty trained. I have now implemented a sticker system, which has shown significant progress. I was told on numerous occasions this weekend that my efforts at potty training is completely useless. I guess after getting beat down by both my mom and husband all weekend my mind just isn't where it should be. The mental and emotional toll that they are taking on me right now just isn't fair.      I just really need to go back to work. Work is my happy place.

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