Friday...

     Have you ever wondered what really counts at the end of the day? Like, you went the entire day, but only a portion of it counts as "living." Yeah, I'm right at that thought process. This week has been an adjustment, and I'm exhausted. Instead of sleeping comfortably in my bed, I'm sitting up with my child who has missed me all week. 

    She refuses to sleep and has fought sleep all week. Not one night has she actually fell asleep before 11:30. Her bedtime is at 8:00 and we have consistently kept that all summer. She panics in the morning because I'm not there when she wakes up, so maybe she doesn't sleep in fear that I won't be there when she wakes? My husband does the morning routine with her through the week because I have to leave so early. He gets the kid who sleeps in and I get the night owl. It's funny how that plays out. 

    I just cannot put her in her own room yet. She is still so small and I don't want her to feel alone. We tried it one night and I couldn't handle her waking up screaming for me to come get her. She wakes up, sees me there, and then will usually pass back out. 

    My job counts, but not as much as being a parent. My child comes first, so that is the only time of my day that really counts as living to me. I go through the motions of the day and count down until I get home. My four hours is precious to me and I try to make it count. I try to remember that she hasn't seen me all day and just wants my undivided attention. I need to do a better job of showing her some grace. I expect way too much from my two year old. I need to slow things down and really show her she's the reason for everything. She the most important part of my day.    How do other moms handle this?

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