Reflections

     I sometimes do open up old posts and read through them. My blog is very scattered and non-focused as compared to my peers. I have so much going on all the time that sometimes I just post about daily things so my readers can see what that looks like. 

    Today as I sit and sip my first cup of hot coffee, I reflect on how my life has changed in the past five years. I went from being a foster parent to having children of my own. Even my day to day routines have changed. Simply put, I've aged and with age comes wisdom. 

    I wouldn't change a thing about how things have played out. I know I would have never had a child of my own had I not been a foster parent first. Those were dark times in my life where I was trying to be a parent, caregiver, sole provider, and maid. Working multiple jobs to make ends meet while trying to be something I just couldn't be. The level of stress made my hair fall out and my health declined significantly.  This hot coffee and silence that surrounds me is a blessing in itself. My toddler is still asleep, safe, fed, and unharmed. In these few moments I can just be me. I had lost myself for so many years doing for others. This included taking care of my mom through her various major surgeries. I have spent more time in waiting rooms than I care to mention waiting on surgeons to tell me if mom had made it through. 

    I felt alone in it all.     

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