Life of the Party

     It's official. I have now seen the "Back to School" supplies everywhere. Ahhhhh. I was hoping retailers would at least give us until next week before putting up the signs.    Summer break always seems to pass by so quickly. With Taylor, I didn't even get to read a single novel this summer. Maybe next year she will be more active and vacationing will be much easier to do. 

 Your baby's first year passes by so fast. Working and trying to juggle mom hood has been a real struggle for me. I feel like I missed out on so much of her "firsts."  She is walking now, and I cannot help but think back to her first crawling moment. She's is almost running now. It's sad that I didn't get to enjoy her first year because I was in survival mode. Endless tasks and mom guilt is a REAL thing.  That first year...     Everything is overwhelming. Simple tasks seem enormous and beyond what I could handle. Even going to doctor's appointments was challenging. My appointments, not hers. My doctor offices made is seem like a bad thing that I had to bring my child with me. We don't all have extended family ready to help. She hasn't even spent a night away from me. Oh... and the first year shots!!! No one told me how hard it was going to be for me to watch my child get shots. The nurses were beyond nice, but it still didn't help with the tear...

 I'm taking a break from all social media. It's time to live a good life! 

       I'm not planning ahead by no means, but it's going to happen. We're waiting on a phone call from our family in Jacksonville, Florida. My mother's aunt is in really bad shape and her family lives so far away. the few interactions I have had with her side of the family have always been loving.       I'm dreading having to ask off to make the long drive there. I hope there is a miracle and she is saved, but they have called in hospice. How do I ask for leave, when I barely know the person?   I'll ask anyway due to the fact that mom cannot drive herself that far. I wouldn't want her to go through this tough time alone. Mom has always been in my corner and I will be there when she needs me most.      Keep my mom and her family in your thoughts. I know they need it. 

     I will not post the dramatic photos of my child. I got the profs today in the mail and I was very disappointed in the images. Taylor was completely traumatized by the giant white bunny that held her in the photos. She cried and/or screamed for hours after the incident. We tried the photo center at the mall and a private photographer. Both times she wasn't having any part of the situation. I wonder how other parents get the classic photos that are cherished years later?  SIDE NOTE: I will "save" these for her senior year tribute collection. 

      I had an eventful afternoon here in Asheville NC. I had to make the long drive to complete some PD here at the WRESA center. I-40 was terrible as always and I ended up in a traffic jam for over 3 hours.  Downtown:  Well...   I was beyond impressed at the stupidity of the people on the street. They were actively trying to pet a black bear. I guess their instagram photo was more important that their safety. The young man actually managed to chase the bear up a random tree while filming himself. I hope this isn't a "norm" here. Bears are not pets and you cannot pet and play with them. When I first walked up to him, he was feeding said bear a honeybun from his hand.  There was a man peddling his artwork. It was $20 well spent in my opinion. Young artists need all the encouragement they can possibly receive. I would post it on here, but I did not ask his permission to do so. It's a watercolor of the flower garden at the Biltmore house. He should have ...

      Some days are harder than others this time of year. My dad's birthday is slowly approaching and I'm dreading it. Another year without him. February has flown by so fast that I didn't even really have time to enjoy it. The Easter lilies have already broke ground and are starting to shoot up rapidly. They were my dad's favorite flowers. It's days like today that I think about him missing out on Taylor. He doesn't get to experience what it is like to have a grand daughter. He would have absolutely loved her. Dad was always good with small children. Some how the always seemed to enjoy his deep somber laugh.        Maybe it's a good thing he isn't here. I wouldn't have wanted her to see what drugs do to a person. They suck the life out of them slowly. She will never get to see the good side of who dad could be when he was clean. He would have taught her to fish, hunt, and gather. I spent so much time on a creek bank that fishing come second nature t...

      I feel like this topic isn't spoken about enough. We're expected to both work full time and be full time parents while maintaining a home and domestic chores. I'm currently struggling with finishing school work while at school. When I get home, my full focus is on my child. My husband comes in eats and goes straight to sleep (He works 14 hour shifts).       As mothers we put our children first, but when we miss work people judge. I know I shouldn't care about what others think, but it's hard to ignore when I'm constantly out. Society prompts moms to be this forever ongoing energizer bunny. When do we get the chance to recharge? I hear about all this self care/ self love advice. That's hard to do when you're the default parent who doesn't get a break. My mom helps with Taylor while I'm at work, so she isn't going to help out on a random Saturday when I need some sleep.       Any thoughts? 

     It's that time of year again. The chocolate holiday that makes mega money. Being married should make this time of year special because I have someone to celebrate with. It's just another day in our household. I don't really want candy or a fancy dinner. It would be nice to just celebrate us. Maybe this is how all mothers feel during that first year with their little one?     Maybe next year I can do something special with Taylor. Maybe a girl's day out is exactly what I need right now. A nice dinner, roaming through a book store, and buying a new candle or two. (Real life of the party material here!) 

      She is so close to crawling and time is just moving too fast for me to comprehend at the moment. I cannot believe she is up in a walker. We don't use it all the time, but she does enjoy the limited freedom that she receives from it. I'm beyond blessed.      Taylor's hair color has begun to really change again. I think she may end up being a blond after all. I just wanted her to have my hair color, but blond is okay too! Each month she is progressing and building new abilities. She's only little once, so I'm trying to soak it all in. I had a person email me about her because I don't post about her often enough. I'm thankful you have kept up with us! I look forward to hearing more about adventures across the ocean.       She still has a slight cough from having Covid. I hope this will go away with time!