Life of the Party

      Some days are harder than others this time of year. My dad's birthday is slowly approaching and I'm dreading it. Another year without him. February has flown by so fast that I didn't even really have time to enjoy it. The Easter lilies have already broke ground and are starting to shoot up rapidly. They were my dad's favorite flowers. It's days like today that I think about him missing out on Taylor. He doesn't get to experience what it is like to have a grand daughter. He would have absolutely loved her. Dad was always good with small children. Some how the always seemed to enjoy his deep somber laugh.        Maybe it's a good thing he isn't here. I wouldn't have wanted her to see what drugs do to a person. They suck the life out of them slowly. She will never get to see the good side of who dad could be when he was clean. He would have taught her to fish, hunt, and gather. I spent so much time on a creek bank that fishing come second nature t...

      I feel like this topic isn't spoken about enough. We're expected to both work full time and be full time parents while maintaining a home and domestic chores. I'm currently struggling with finishing school work while at school. When I get home, my full focus is on my child. My husband comes in eats and goes straight to sleep (He works 14 hour shifts).       As mothers we put our children first, but when we miss work people judge. I know I shouldn't care about what others think, but it's hard to ignore when I'm constantly out. Society prompts moms to be this forever ongoing energizer bunny. When do we get the chance to recharge? I hear about all this self care/ self love advice. That's hard to do when you're the default parent who doesn't get a break. My mom helps with Taylor while I'm at work, so she isn't going to help out on a random Saturday when I need some sleep.       Any thoughts? 

     It's that time of year again. The chocolate holiday that makes mega money. Being married should make this time of year special because I have someone to celebrate with. It's just another day in our household. I don't really want candy or a fancy dinner. It would be nice to just celebrate us. Maybe this is how all mothers feel during that first year with their little one?     Maybe next year I can do something special with Taylor. Maybe a girl's day out is exactly what I need right now. A nice dinner, roaming through a book store, and buying a new candle or two. (Real life of the party material here!)